Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
