The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
