she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
