There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
