Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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