I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
