Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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