I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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