So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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