So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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