I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
