you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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