Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
