You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
