how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
