I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
