Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
