my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
