Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize