I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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