i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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