i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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