Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
