she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize