Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
areolas are like halos for boobs.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
