Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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