Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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