hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
