then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
