He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
