I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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