No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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