Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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