is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
