Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
