I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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