so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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