Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
