Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
