She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
