Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
