Say something about gay babies.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
