I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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