I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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