this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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