Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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