i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
