oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
