Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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