I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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