Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
