During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I believe in your delicious
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
