so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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