he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
