So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
where are my eyebrows?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
