...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
