I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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