One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
