Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need moral support for this bender
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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