only if we run a train.
done.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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