Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.

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(619): View more from California

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

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(415): View more from California

Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

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(404): View more from Georgia

On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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(740): View more from Ohio

He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!

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