i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
