My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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