Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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