Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
