i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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