Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
