Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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