Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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