Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
